Success is an unfamiliar term in the lexicon of Indian cricket team

Indian sport has one admirable virtue: it's consistent. In any country, weather condition, surface, sport, we can produce a world-class defeat. Sometimes the other man is not playing well, the other team is uninterested, still we lose. In fact, we encourage it. In 1997, the Indian cricket team went on a global mission to spread the gospel of defeat: they lost in South Africa, the West Indies, in Sri Lanka, in Pakistan, in Sharjah. Which brings me to 1998. I dread the thought of victory. Indian sportswriters, who have a worldwide patent on the line "snatching defeat from the jaws of victory", will be forced to think. It is too much work. So better that 1998 goes like this:January: Cricket: Australia tours and India's selection is uncontroversial. Farokh Engineer is recalled and Sachin Tendulkar is asked to bat at No. 6. Controversy strikes: Engineer drops four catches, all coincidentally off a Mumbai fast bowler, and a former cricketer alleges that people are taking money to promote zonal interests. Australia wins first Test and the Board appoints 86-year-old Lala Amarnath to head an inquiry and selects him as opening batsman so that he can collect evidence first-hand. Lala laughs from his hospital bed and calls them "sons of jokers". In the second Test, selector Shivlal Yadav is so overcome by the sight of a spinners' wicket that he makes a masterly selection: himself. And returns figures of 1273. Tendulkar is now batting at No. 7. Raj Singh Dungarpur is reminded that on 43 occasions he had said, "We need a foreign fitness trainer." Where is he? Dungarpur says, "I don't know. I am only Board president, ask Dalmiya." June: World Cup Football, France: In Patiala, a trader names his newborn son Sukhjeet Singh Ronaldo. A delegation led by soccer boss Priya Ranjan Dasmunshi leaves Calcutta, proclaiming it will convince the Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA) that India could host the 2006 World Cup. FIFA, which has met the same delegation every four years since 1952, evicts it. Still there's good news: P.K. Banerjee returns to say Romario will be joining East Bengal. July: Commonwealth Games, Kuala Lumpur: Sports minister declares India will win more medals than China. An aide reminds him that China is not participating. In the Athletes' Village, the police break up a fight between Indian officials over who will carry the flag at the opening ceremony. When advised that a leading athlete is supposed to carry the flag, an official, looking at his 422 athletes, says: "We have none." Teams lose but profer interesting excuses: a leading boxer finds he was entered in the wrong weight category. An Indian woman athlete fails a sex test, but the chef de mission tells the BBC: "Arre bhai, why all this panic? At the 1990 Asian Games, we had a similar case." December: Asian Games, Bangkok: Sports minister says lessons of Kuala Lumpur have been learnt, that he will lead from the front and show the way: i.e., he will carry the flag at the opening ceremony. Bangkok Airport collapses as the Indian contingent of 672 officials and 433 athletes arrives. India fails to win a single gold, officials win every discount available in town. Sports minister says India must host the Olympics; he calls Dasmunshi for advice. Hockey team wins bronze, but claims it was cheated. Later, officials learn that the rule in question had changed eight months ago. December: Cricket Season Ends, Sharjah: Anshuman Gaekwad is long since sacked and Tendulkar gets his wish for a foreign coach: Geoff Boycott. Pandemonium reigns when Boycott appoints his "Oonkle (Moom's brother)" as sole selector. First match the cricket team is caught munching on cricket balls. What's this? Seems Boycott's Oonkle told them, "You've got to learn how to eat the ball." Poor Dungarpur. Not only is he still looking for a physical trainer, he needs a translator. Oonkle meant hit the ball.Published By: AtMigration Published On: Jan 5, 1998--- ENDS ---

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Success is an unfamiliar term in the lexicon of Indian cricket team

Success is an unfamiliar term in the lexicon of the Indian team, past masters as they are in the game of masterful defeat. The crystal ball is foggy. Is that surprising?

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